I TRIED SO HARD NOT TO REBLOG THIS
Hahahajshah fcbkl vccda jm
new studies show that everybody wants to be a cat
scientists confirm that a cat’s the only cat who knows where it’s at
the fire alarm is going off but im gonna assume that my brother just burned some food
LINK TO A PETITION
EXAGGERATED, UNINFORMED, AND OVERLY DRAMATIC DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THE PETITION IS FOR
“WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES”
“TUMBLR WILL GO IF YOU DON’T SIGN THIS RIGHT NOW”
i’d like to see a version of romeo and juliet about a person that works at burger king and a person who work at mcdonalds that fall in love
“Deny thy corporation and refuse thy name badge.”
“A McRib by any other name would smell as sweet.”
“Do you bite your spatula at us, sir?”
I POSTED THIS WHEN I WAS STONED I HATE YOU ALL
do you ever get really protective of friends and you don’t want other people to be friends with them or look at them or breathe the same air as them and you just want to cuddle them up in a little burrito of friendship and keep them from having any other friends ever again you are mine my burrito
the year is 2084, you refresh your dash on tumblr, a now outdated and desolate website with few users left. your url tag, it has updated. you are confused and shocked, it’s 67 years since it’s last occurred. you enter your tag, a seemingly unknown tumblr user has uploaded a small sketch. is it what you think it is? it is.
at long last, the doodle based on your blog. after all these years. it has come.
I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires.
“whats a movie”
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
I CAN’T GET MY EGG OUT OF ITS CASE
WTF IS THIS SHIT I’M NOT IN THE FUCKING GOBLET OF FIRE I WANT MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE
A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!
I LEGITIMATELY RAMMED MY HEAD INTO MY CHOCOLATE EGG AND I CAN CONFIRM THAT IT IS ACTUALLY AN EGG OF STEEL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST 0/10 WOULD NOT TRY AGAIN
THERE’S NOT EVEN A FUCKING DENT IN THIS EGG TO I HAVE TO GO TO A HOT TUB AND SING TO IT OR SOMETHING I JUST WANTED FUCKING CHOCOLATE